When I look at forums on shyness websites, I'm struck by this - almost everyone seems to be focused on one thing - me, me, me. Most shy people, including introverts, HSPs, autistic people, etc, want to talk about the difference between them and the rest of humanity, and about their tribulations and suffering in … Continue reading Me, Me, Me
In my book The Shyness Guide, I warn readers against committing themselves unreservedly to a diagnosis they've received, or chosen for themselves. Because of forty years working as a personal injury claims adjuster, watching psychologists and psychiatrists aggressively disagree with each other, I've grown wary of psychological labels. But there is one diagnosis that I'm not sceptical … Continue reading Highly Sensitive Person – HSP
Why do I call this site the Shy Highway? Because social people don't own the highway of life. Unfortunately, many shy people don't know that no permission is required to be shy and still go out in the world. What I'm talking about isn't just playing with words, but a real way of being in … Continue reading What is the Shy Highway?
The following thoughts only partially got into The Shyness Guide. Psychologist Philip Zimbardo, founder of the Stanford Shyness Institute in California, has devoted much of his life to shyness. In his 1978 book Shyness - What It is, What to Do About It, he says, "Shyness is a fuzzy concept; the closer we look, the more varieties of … Continue reading What is Shyness?
Are you aware that shyness seems to be increasing in modern society? Besides the fact that surveys, at least in North America, show the number of people who perceive themselves to be shy increasing (it's usually over 50% now), in sociologist Eric Klinenberg's 2012 bestselling book, Going Solo - The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of … Continue reading Shyness Re-emerging
I must admit that my perspective on shyness is different than most. It's the perspective of a loner. During my life I've often been called shy, sensitive, or introverted. But several people, at different times, have also told me that I was the most independent person they'd ever met. Well, that strong independence is genetic. … Continue reading What does a Loner know about Shyness?
In my book, The Shyness Guide, I say that if you learn to accept your shyness you become less shy. It's true. When you're no longer concerned about being shy, you no longer suffer anxiety, so it's easier to talk to people. Simple as that. But that isn't all you gain from accepting your shyness. Once the … Continue reading Shy Confidence
In the Jan/Feb 20014 edition of Atlantic, an article by journalist Scott Stossel told about his life-long debilitating anxiety, and discussed the nature of anxiety. Look at this excerpt: Is pathological anxiety a medical illness, as Hippocrates and Aristotle and many modern psychopharmacologists would have it? Or is it a philosophical problem, as Plato and Spinoza … Continue reading What is Anxiety?
When he was a boy and was sent away to boarding school, the famous Clive Staples Lewis (Chronicles of Narnia, etc.) was miserable. Realizing that he was too shy for it, his father took him out of the school. He sent him to live in the country with a private tutor, Willam T. Kirkpatrick. Lewis … Continue reading A Shyness Rescue – the Narnian